Living In Paradise

Grown-Ups

2005-04-29T17:22:00.000-04:00

R. and I are trying to become grown-ups. We put it off for a long, long time. Last week we took a very interesting step and went to an info session at an adoption agency.
So there you go! However, actually for most people acquiring a little bundle of joy is step 2. Let's not forget step 1--which is buying a house. We're trying to do that one as well. K'ching! K'ching! $$$$
More specifics as they become available.

I'm Back

2005-04-27T07:27:00.000-04:00

Well, there's been a bit of a hiatus so I guess an update is due. Lessee, well first of all we cleaned up the yard, including the left over leaves from last year. A day later, whaddya know, there are about 20 little nip bottles in a heap under the tree. Now, that is really a bit much. Especially cause they are yucky beverages such as peppermint schnapps. Now we're mad! Now we're going to get even! We just need to figgur out how. We did clean up all the little bottles and now the yard is completely clean. I'm sure it won't last.

Camera
R. and I bought a digital camera. That was exciting. Now I can post photos. Maybe it's time to transform the blog...

Me and My Insides
Well, one reason I've been gone is that I'm having all this fibroid trouble. If you don't know what fibroids are consider yourself lucky. I won't disturb your innocence with a long explanation. Last Friday I had a test that showed that one of the little devils is in a bad spot. Hence the trouble. It was kinda neat since I could see it all on screen. The procedure itself was no big deal, and the nurses and Dr. Fine were really great. Unfortunately I had an intense reaction to a medication I had to take ahead of time. So the night before I had about 8 hours of intense cramping, throwing up, nausea and so forth and so on. All that kinda wiped me out for the next 3 or 4 days. In a week or so I'll have the results of the biopsy and also a recommendation from Dr. F. about what to do about the damn things. (In case you noticed that I mentioned a biopsy below, well, this was number two, the first one didn't get the right cells due to the positioning of troublesome fibroid.) Ugh. Enough!

A Half-Assed Blogger

2005-04-04T14:43:00.000-04:00

is what I am. Well, that's the way it goes I guess. I don't write much, but then no one is reading much and I haven't had time to visit my favorite blogs lately anyway. I always have this problem of way too many projects going on at one time. Mayb there will be more time for blogs at some later date. I've also thought that I should just blog about one topic, like the commute or the things that get thrown in our yard and that way I wouldn't need so much time. Speaking of which...

Update on the Things in the Yard
I've mentioned before that we live next to a historic church (very lovely, built in 1830) in the back of which is a small drop-in shelter which is separated from our side yard by a fence. I don't think the people who drop-in are necessarily homeless, but they are down on their luck and maybe crazy and sometimes drunk or high. ANYWAY! They hang outside the shelter smoking and talking (and sometimes drinking to judge by the bottles and cans in the yard) and they pitch miscellaneous things over the fence.

When the snow melted there was a litter of trash including a large replica of a parrot (which I mentioned in a previous posting) in the corner of the yard closest to the church. It was mostly arranged under a small pine tree like a sad parody of Christmas. I kept thinking I would clean it up on the first nice day, but to be honest a week or so elapsed. (Many people would read this and think how glad they are not to have me as a neighbor I don't doubt.)

This past Saturday R. mentioned that there was a bagel on the roof of the church, which we can see clearly from our 2nd floor kitchen door. I poked my head out and there was a bagel--deposited by a tired (no doubt) squirrel who came back for it later in the day. Then I noticed that the trash in the yard including the parrot was gone. Probably the landlord came over to clean up. Five seconds later, I noticed that there was another bagel and a selection of dinner rolls scattered around the yard. Why and by whom I don't know. Intended as squirrel food? Bird food? No one fed the birds when there was snow on the ground. Why now? It's almost as if some force in the universe abhors our yard to be empty and just reached for the nearest things at hand.
Stay tuned for the next update on the things in the yard.

Dish of Me

2005-03-27T17:22:00.000-05:00

As I write, there is a little section of me growing in a container somewhere. It's interesting to think that my little cells can keep on growing without me. They once were part of me, but not any more. They don't need me--the main Me from whence they came. They don't need my good taste in books, my excellence in baking tofu and making black beans and rice, my many thoughts on the morning commute, my friendly good humor, they just keep on growing and reproducing themselves! They can reproduce themselves, and apparently I can't! That's ironic isn't it. What are they eating I wonder. Funny to think that I don't know. I know what I eat and what I'd like to eat if I wasn't trying to lose weight. I have a new cookbook from which I am going to make R. and myself a spinach salad with warm, sundried tomato dressing. Since I'm told they are growing, someone must be feeding them--probably not spinach salad though, probably something weird and labratory-ish that wouldn't appeal to me. Freaky!

The hope, and I am told, the expection, is that they are growing in a nice, neat orderly fashion. I'll know how they are doing in about a week.

Feverish

2005-03-24T15:00:00.000-05:00

Just two weeks ago (or something like that) we were still digging out from the lastest snow storm. Now, suddenly, it's Spring and temperatures are in the 40's. (10C or thereabouts, right?) Last weekend was amazingly sunny. Spring fever hit me hard. The change of seasons is nice to be sure, but it makes me crazy for a few days: I hate my clothes, I hate the dust in the house, I hate the cat fur that is suddenly everywhere in the house, I hate being in the house, I hate the leftover piles of dirty snow outside of the house. In other words, I am incredibly restless! Today is grey and a little more winteresque so I am calmer. Luckily the feverishness hasn't kept me from working on paintings.

Fibroidal
We are hot on the trial of those nasty growing, clutching things that are taking the wind out of my sails: fibroids. Everytime I mention seeing Dr. Fine (who is very nice and wonderful) R. says: "When are you going to see Dr. Howard?" This is a reference to the Three Stooges in case you don't get it. More about this at a later time. It seems that some treatment is in order.

Martha here, there, everywhere

2005-03-23T18:41:00.000-05:00

Previously I reported that Lion Brand yarn company was developing a poncho just like Martha Stewart's. Well, the other day I went to the Interweave Knits magazine website and there's another Martha inspired poncho! I think of Interweave Knits as a pretty classy mag, but who could resist the thrill? No one evidently. Designed by Lily Chin, they call it "The Freedom Poncho." I think the "Jailbird Poncho" or the "Caged Heat Poncho" would be a more fun name, but then, that's just me.

Painting, Knitting, Eating

2005-03-20T10:05:00.000-05:00

That title is sort of a pun on a title of a painting I like by Philip Guston: "Painting, Smoking, Eating." I like all those Philip Guston cartoon-y painting.

I finally got my painting mojo back thanks to my friend N. who kindly agreed to take a look last week at all my work. (Small oil paintings on panels. I think of them as being paintings of things you've never seen before. Other people might describe them as abstract.) Just seeing them all laid out and talking about them and seeing that I am getting to something with all those colors and strange little shapes inspired me once again. So I've been painting with great excitement...really the first time since the fall that I've felt like I know what I'm doing. I have a goal now (thanks to N. for the suggestion) which is to have ten really good pieces ready to make into slides by June. I have about five pretty good ones now.

Tired and Sick
So where have I been? Welp. For once thing, work has been kicking my ass...I've been busy every minute, just no time to blog, and that means that at night I am extra tired and just make dinner and flop onto the couch to knit and watch DVDs. After slaving furiously over the computer all day I have a hard, hard time turning it on at night. Y'know I thought this blogging thing would be perfect for taking a little break from work on those dull afternoons, I never dreamed my dull afternoons would vanish so soon!

And then, last week I had the vapors and that took the wind out of my sails for a few days. I was really dragging. I'm feeling better now, although I need to go back to the doctor next week and it's not entirely clear what's going on. But anyway...here I am and oh yes, I forgot to mention the eating. Now that spring is here I am determined to loose some of the fat that has draped itself across my midsection. So, I am cutting back, waaaay back.
By the way, Happy Spring!

Today's Commute: Hair Raising

2005-03-11T16:02:00.000-05:00

Lots of crazy driving out there today. I had to move out of the way of several lane-changers who didn't seem to notice that my car already occupied space they wanted for their cars. Then I was forced to do some crazy driving myself: going down Rt.128 I was in the left lane when suddenly a big batch of debris appeared on the road in front of me blocking the entire lane. It looked like a couple of bags of sand or cement that had fallen off a truck along with some other stuff. I couldn't see it until the cars in front of me had swerved around it. I couldn't change lanes at that point, so 'I am gonna hit that stuff, spin around, and get hit by another car' was my next thought. I leaned on the brakes.

Then I had that really scary feeling as I braked hard and the car just kept moving closer to the stuff. Luckily I drive at a reasonable speed. The car had only slowed to about 45 before I reached the debris, but I was able to swerve into the brakedown lane and avoid it that way. I continued on my way shaking and thinking that I should call the state police and report the stuff. However, it's hard enough to drive a standard and talk on the phone normally, and since I had the shakes and was driving in heavy traffic, I decided that someone else would have to call.

Farther along my route I saw a Mass. highway truck picking up a bunch of stuff that had fallen off of someone else's truck or van: a rug, some bulging garbage bags and other odds and ends. Weird!

I was listening to Pavement during the drive and I can't say I really enjoyed it.

Poncho Paradise

2005-03-10T09:10:00.000-05:00

The excitement of Martha Stewart's release from jail this week did not bypass the normally placid world of knitting and crocheting. 'Cause that poncho Martha was wearing as she boarded her private jet and waved to everyone in TVlandia was hand crocheted by a fellow-inmate. Following the coverage, the Lion Brand yarn company reports that they received the most requests ever for a pattern. There are no fools at Lion Brand, so the company has developed a pattern and has put together a kit with the pattern and yarn for purchase. (Apparently the poncho artiste used a pattern that is not commercially available, or at least not from the Lion Brand company.) There you go!

More evidence that Martha's trip to jail has been a boon for all concerned, and even for some people not originally concerned at all.

Today's Commute: Road Rage in the People's Republic of Cambridge
I left the house early today to do my stint as the weather person on R.'s radio show. No delays to speak of at 6am--although my first few weeks of commuting it absolutely astonished me how many people are on the road at that hour. Heading from the station to work I cut through Harvard Square since fire engines were blocking Memorial Drive. As I was passing the Cambridge Common I saw a show-down taking place in the other lane. A pedestrian in a crosswalk was directly in front of the hood of a car driven by a portly, bearded, and apparently infuriated driver who was slowly moving forward forcing Ms. Pedestrian to take several steps backwards to avoid being plowed over by the car. She banged on the hood and he inched forward some more--til the car was almost touching her. I recognized the expression on his face--I see it all the time on drivers--that look of impassive hostility. The conflict was over in a few seconds and Ms. Pedestrian was ok, but yoikes! I recommend a meditation class for that guy.

Plaster of Parrot

2005-03-07T11:48:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, when I went out the kitchen door and viewed our little snow-covered yard, there was a brightly-colored replica of a parrot, size large, lying beak down in the snow with the end of its tail broken off. I mentioned previously that behind our house is a church with a small, drop-in shelter. Sometimes interesting things get tossed over the fence. I don't know if it's made out of plaster or not. But, perhaps later if I feel like braving the icy-crusty snow I will retrieve it.

For a week or so there has also been a thick aluminum pole--maybe the kind that holds a big umbrella up over a lawn table--sticking out of the ground at an angle that suggests it was thrown javalin-style over the fence.

Another Tragedy
After watching the news over the weekend, I ask the rhetorical question: is there anything left for the U.S. to do in Iraq that is horrible and sad that hasn't been done already? Probably the answer is plenty, but I just can't ignore the shooting of the Italian secret service agent by American soldiers while he shielded a journalist hostage who'd just been released from the bullets. I admire him for protecting the hostage to the end. I was trying my very best to ignore the release from jail of Martha Stewart, but I couldn't help noticing that Martha got just as much media coverage as the shooting did if not more. I think I saw getting on the plane in her poncho about 150 times. I wonder if fans and subscribers to her mag will be incarcerated at a higher rate now that Martha's done it? It could be one of those very subtle statistical things.

A Tragedy

2005-03-02T20:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my brother emailed with the message that our Dad had just called him to say that our second counsin had been tragically killed in an auto accident (leaving a wife and two young children). We had only met him once--at a family reunion two years ago--but we've had more contact with his parents (our cousin and his wife) so this was a big shock. I felt so, so sorry for my cousin and his wife, and of course the whole family.
Then I had a weird reaction. I had a little bit of an anxiety attack at work. I thought a lot about my mum who died three years ago now and about her funeral. I kept thinking that this could happen to R. and me, even though everything is so happy now that could all change in a moment. Then I'd go back to thinking about my relatives and how grief stricken they must be. I had to take a break and calm myself down. It came back this morning and I emailed R. for consoling words and he very wonderfully sent some, which helped a lot and the anxiety went away.

We're at a disadvantage today; I think people in the 19th century were better prepared for tragedy. It wasn't so odd then for young people to die, there were specific rituals around mourning, and tragedy was expected to be a part of life. Now, things like that accident happen and it shakes you up and reminds you that computer viruses and parking tickets aren't big problems.

When I was 36 I was depressed a lot of the time and I remember waking up one morning and feeling the depression settle around me for another day. I went out to the porch in my PJs to take in the Sunday paper and there was the headline looking up at me about Princess Di being killed at age 36. I vividly remember thinking: golly, I could be 36, rich, attractive (if you like that look), depressed AND dead, instead of just 36 and depressed. Those experiences won't solve banish your depression for all time, but they can help goad you into finding a solution. And if you are happy, they just remind you all the more to stay that way.

There's always a wryly humorous note. Yesterday afternoon I got an email about the accident from my cousin. So that night I managaged to save us all from sending condolences and flowers with the wrong name on them. My Dad, of course, being 82 and hard of hearing, had got the names switched, and told us that my cousin's other son had been killed.

Another Jolt
So that was yesterday. Today, my brother emailed to say that this afternoon he'd been in an accident that had really damaged his car! A woman in a big SUV had started to make a U-turn and bashed in the door of his fairly new Saab. Luckily he's ok, but what a huge drag! And tomorrow is his birthday. Luckily I was able to tell him that I am knitting him a scarf--which should be really nice and hopefully will be done in just a few days.

Finally Some Good News
Today a new girl started at work who is going to take a huge burden of data entry off my weary shoulders, so I can focus on the tons of other work I have to do. That was just fabulous although it made today stressful since new people are always so daggone eager. Plus, she seems smart and on the ball and likeable, so it's good all around.

Once More

2005-02-28T23:04:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting upstairs at our computer and out the window once again it's snowing. Another ten inches expected. Mercy me. The good, no great thing, is that our cars are parked in the public parking garage, so no digging at all tomorrow and its free during snow emergencies.

News
It's funny how fast things can change--and when you least expect them to. I had some surprising news today. Can't write about it yet in a public forum, but stay tuned.

Yawn. Time for bed.

Today's Commute: Where was everyone? It was fabulous am and pm, I zipped along, listened to the new Maryanne Faithfull CD, which is very good I think, but I need to hear it again. Made it to work in 50 minutes, which is about as fast as it gets and home in the same amount of time.

Night Out

2005-02-27T20:58:00.000-05:00

Last night R. and went into Boston to see the Bags--a popular local band that's recently back together--and the Konks. One of the Bags is the husband of my boss's boss. I like her, but it's unfortunate, because when I go to see them it makes me think about work. It was a great show, but after wrangling with Norton Anti-virus all day we were sooo tired and didn't want to leave the house. I went to bed at two am, and woke up at the usual hour feeling tired and puffy and thirsty. This after only had one beer! Ugh.

I went into the bathroom and had a shock looking in the mirror. Aside from my incredible puffiness I had a creepy purple mark on my face. (Kinda like the purple mark on the face of the main character in The Wind Up Bird Chronicle). I was completely scared for a split second, then I realized that I'd slept with my hand pressed against my cheek (I never do that) and the mark of shame on the back of my hand (a purple pawprint) had transferred itself to my face.

Premonition
Another interesting coincedence of last night. Our friends' car broke down on the way to meet us there. She said that she'd dreamed about her car breaking down in just the same way when she took a nap that afternoon. AND the car had been running great until then. Maybe it wasn't a premonition, but I like the symmetry.

As a result of last night I lay around all day. R. and I got Norton installed and browsed around on Amazon trying to decide what we are going to do with the Amazon certificates we got for our wedding. Then I took a short and cold walk to the yarn shop, knuckled down and bought about a hundred bucks worth (not that much at all) of Debbie Bliss cashmerino aran--which I've been dying to try. It's sooo soft. So that's the weekend. Time to go sit on the couch and be a knitting nerd.

Ready for Tomorrow's Commute
Thank doggy, I have new CDs at last. On Sat. I bought the Bags' CD Sharpen Your Sticks and the new Maryann Faithful (she's also coming to Boston soon) and Richard and Linda Thompson Shoot the Lights Out.

Where Have I Been?

2005-02-26T16:37:00.000-05:00

Welp. Lessee. A week ago Thursday I went to a training for work--about the enticing topic of business process improvement. Cut off from the computer pretty much all day for two days and tired at night, so no blogging. Then I had a fab 3-day weekend--very relaxing--and just never got around to blogging. Then, it was the longest short week ever, as one disaster after another rolled around me at work. (All of the disasters completely meaningless in the grand scheme of things.) The result was that I worked away like a little ant building a new anthill with no time for blogging. And then it was now!

I always swear I won't be a victim of the 21st century: that is to say rushing around, always busy, always in a hurry, always eating take-out cause there's no food in the house, and mostly I'm not, but I came close to it a few times this past week.

Due to all of the above I didn't have time to update the Salem Chronicles and I missed my characters. I should probably go look in on them now.

Mystery Compliment

2005-02-16T13:33:00.000-05:00

This morning R. told me I looked very nice and said that my lipstick matched my shirt. I wasn't wearing lipstick but, I enjoyed the compliment.

I correct everyone's grammar
There is new trend I've noticed recently, mainly perpetrated by news anchors and weather persons on TV. It involves making things your or ours that don't now and never will belong to us. For example, when some jolly weatherman refers to the weekend as "your weekend," as in: "The weather will be warm for your weekend." Grr. Whose weekend? Mine or his? It's MY weekend, you can't have it!
Another one is: "We have some delays at airports throughout the midwest." What--you own the airports? Fer the lova Pete, cut it out! Replace with: "The weather will be warm this weekend." or "Flights from the midwest are delayed this morning."

Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T16:23:00.000-05:00

We had a Valentine's party at work today complete with a gift swap, snacks, and decorations. Kind of like the parties we used to have in grade school. Is it my imagination or are adults celebrating these holidays the way kids used to? I don't remember my Dad talking about Valentine's day parties at work. Halloween is certainly becoming a big holiday for adults. (I should know, in Salem Halloween lasts the entire month of October.) If it is true, what does it mean?

After eating cake and chips all my motivation to work just drained away, so I did some research on the internet to see if V day is really just a modern invention of Hallmark or is a real holiday.
I've already read a couple of blogs complaining about V day and the commercialization and so forth, so I will jump over that. However, I was impressed to discover that Valentine's Day has quite a respectable history. It's been celebrated for a long time, though most of that time with out printed cards, not too mention florists, or the ritualized trip out for dinner. It apparently did start as a saint's day, although there are three St. Valentines and no one is really sure who the original Saint was.

I tried to find the Valentine poem Charles Duke of Orleans wrote while imprisoned in England in 1415, which is often billed as the first Valentine, apparently it's on display in the British library, but not on the internet, however, one site mentions that it wasn't really written on Valentine's day and probably was more of an exercise in one or another form of poetry writing than an actual love letter. But, good enough for me!

I love reading about holidays in medieval times. For one thing, often you can see the connections to pagan festivals and the celebrations were always handmade instead of being manufactured. The sad part about the manufacturing is that gradually holidays all begin to look the same--lights for Christmas, lights for Halloween, gifts for Christmas, gifts for Vday and so forth, all 50% off in the "seasonal" isle at the supermarket. This will be an unpopular sentiment, but I think it's a shame we've given up all those saints' days and fertility festivals. Not to mention the maypole!

I did my part to day to keep Valentine's day handmade (sort of). I wrote R. a poem and sent it by email. It includes my pledge that I love him more than cheese curls. Which is true.

Ode to Saturday and Independent Bookstores

2005-02-12T11:49:00.000-05:00

Saturday, I love you,
Yes, I am free today to do all those creative things I've been denied during the week--without having to work them in around work, which I keep reminding myself, makes all those creative things that pay nothing, possible. (Oh yeah, almost forgot about cleaning and laundry...)

Independent Bookstores, I love you all,
Today's exciting discovery is that Haruki Murakami has a new book in English: Kafka on the Shore (I guess in Japan its been around for 2-3 years). I can't wait to order it! If I wait until I finish The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle I may not see the new one for a long time, so I guess I better get the new one and just vow to finish Wind-Up Bird. By order I mean I'm going to walk over to the independent bookstore in Salem and order it there. This bookstore is a trip. It looks like a used bookstore cause the books are all piled up to the ceiling with untidy handlettered signs that point the way to the various sections, dim lighting bathes all in the ambiance of second handiness, the linoleum floor is none too clean, however, the stock is actually mostly new books. The owner is behind a counter covered with a stockade made of piles of books, you talk and pass money to him through a small gap between the piles. If you want to find anything, you have to ask, otherwise you could look for a long time. He may even have Kafka on the Shore, but if not he can get it in a day or two. If you stop in Salem, pay this bookstore a visit. It's right on the Essex Street Pedestrian mall in the center of town, you can't miss it.

My other favorite bookstore, is Newtonville Books in Newton Massachusetts, which is everything a bookstore is supposed to be. Warm, inviting, carpeted floor, helpful staff, interesting selections from the stock arranged on tables, a few cards and calendars, and an excellent selection of fiction and non-fiction. They also have a terrific selection of kids books. They too will order books that aren't in stock.

Yeah, I order stuff from Amazon, and I also visit big chains, but do you really want the independent bookstore to disappear forever? Isn't browsing in a bookstore fun? Isn't it nice to hand your money to someone who appreciates your business? Well, if so, you've gotta tear yourself away from Amazon and visit a local bookstore from time to time.

Thus ends my ode.

Revised Forecast

2005-02-10T11:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I forgot to mention the other way we prepare for big storms in New England--by listening to the news shows make a big deal out of a storm that turns out to be not much at all. It's just raining today, may change to snow later, but all in all, a false alarm.

Big yawn! I am really tired today. Went to bed late after waiting up for R. to return home from band practice, then we both got up at 4am. Him to do his radio show and me to read the weather on his show. I have no patience for work today! Item of note from the news: Jimmy Smith the famous jazz organist died yesterday at 72 or so. I need to pick up a few more JS CDs for sure!

Second Time Around
Second item of note from the news: For some odd and strange reason I thought it very nice that Prince Charles will finally marry Camilla Parker-Bowles. Together and legal at last. I've never been interested in the British royals much, but I felt a twinge of affection today for good ole tree hugging Charles. Maybe this is because I recently got married to someone from my past, so I radiate goodwill towards anyone about to engage in matrimony with an old flame. There's a photo of them together at some Scottish games, her in tweedy ensemble, him in kilt. They look exactly suited for each other. Much more so than Charles and Princess Di ever were. My sympathy is also aroused cause, they, and especially her, of course, are always so unfavorably compared with Princess Di due to their painful lack of glamour. Have you looked at the average person on the street these days? Glamour is in short supply all around.

Voice From the Past--Addendum
I mentioned that I got a call from C., the friend of an ex-boyfriend. I called him back, we chatted a bit. I didn't mention the X's name, although C. did when he told me about the meditation group he's pulling together. I suspect that had I asked, C. would have filled me in on the X . But I made a point of not asking--it was sort of amusing--X hanging over our heads, but never actually discussed. I've been reminiscing a lot about endings and break-ups the past couple of days cause other friends are going through them. I am sure I won't attend this meditation group. I have no desire to ever be in the same room with X ever again. It's funny how you can remain friends with certain Xs and with others friendship just isn't possible.

Nor'easter Coming Our Way

2005-02-09T11:22:00.000-05:00

Well, after a week of warm weather and melting snow New England is now expecting a new storm that is supposed to dump at least a foot on the Boston area. And, this is key: it is expected to be in full swing during rush hour and throughout the day tomorrow. I was hoping our recyling bins would reappear soon--they are still under about 3 feet of grimy, icy, hard packed snow--but I guess not yet. In the kitchen pantry we have a precarious mound of recycling piled in the corner that I have virtuously been collecting, but I may have to sacrifice some of my virtue.

So, how do we prepare for a storm in New England? I have no idea what you do if you have a boat. But on land, everyone rushes to the store to stock up even though the storm will only last a few hours and the grocery stores haven't closed during a storm since the blizzard of '78. That means really long lines. At my house we make sure we have some good DVDs, we pick up a few things to munch on (no need for a huge shopping cart) and then we plan gleefully to cut out of work early so we can be home before the roads ice up and traffic gets really bad. If we're really fortunate we'll have another snow day, but that's unlikely.

I never look forward to the first snow--it makes life so much more complicated--but after I'm used to it, then do look forward to the storms. And, if you are going to have snow you might as well have record-breaking snow, which is what we have this year.

Another Voice From the Past
In a previous post I mentioned a letter from a friend of a very long ago X. I just got over the surprise of that and I just emailed her. Last night, again to my surprise, I had a message from a friend of a more recent X. This X and I used to go to meditation as did C. the X's friend, so now C. called to invite me to a meditation group that is starting up on the North Shore. I will call him back. More on this later.

Today's Commute
Made it to work in record time! No traffic to speak of all this week. Going home I've barely touched the brakes the entire way. I did see a car that had been rearended by a VERY large truck bearing a bulldozer. The driver of that car must have been very glad to only have an accordion-pleated car to deal with instead of fatal injuries. I also saw a really big boat on a big boat trailer. I've never seen such a thing. Boats look very strange cruising down Rt. 128. Listened to The Mekons Honky Tonkin--a old fave and also the past two days, The History of Richard Thompson. But I am desperate for some new music. May have to stop tonight...

Joys and Sorrows

2005-02-07T11:08:00.000-05:00

I'm back at work after a lovely three-day weekend. I was off Friday due to having collected a richly-deserved comp day for that snowy Monday two weeks ago when I dragged myself into work.

Friday was a pensive day though, it was cloudy and dreary and I drove into Boston to spend some time with a friend who is going through a break-up. I hope having me around helped, although I found that all the comforting things I had to say sounded sooo trite. You know, the "there are other fish in the sea" line, followed by the "you deserve something better" motivational speech. Unless you're a cloistered nun (or monk) you've probably heard and delivered both at some point. Luckily, I'm not too worried about her. I think she'll be ok and will move on before an unhealthy amount of time lapses. But, it reminded me of all the now-distant time that I felt that sick feeling: when your life is changing, you find out the other person had these not so great thoughts about you and the relationship and, saddest of all, it turns out that what you once thought was a great new relationship is now over. I remember casting my thoughts back to the beginning and feeling completely miserable. I send my sympathies out to all the poor souls everywhere currently making their way through that circle of hell. May you never return to it.

The rest of my weekend was filled with my own brand of domestic bliss. I've already mentioned the fact that we discovered that we are getting a tax refund (when I thought we might owe due to our newly married state and thus higher combined income). So we bought the computer.

In the midst of picking it up and installing and so forth, R. said that he hoped we wouldn't each spend too much time sitting at the computer because it was nice when he and I were both reading, or he was reading and I was knitting and we were keeping each other company. To make us sound even more like Mother and Father Bear, we often do these things in front of a (small) fire in our (small) fireplace. It was a lovely sentiment, bless his little pointed head. And, of course, he was right.

Finally, finally,

2005-02-06T22:18:00.000-05:00

Finally!
At long last, I am writing this on our brand new computer purchased today.

R. and I have been without a computer at home since two weeks before Christmas. Such torture! Yesterday I did our taxes, discovered to my surprise that we were getting a fairly sizable refund, and today we got all inspired and with the advice of our dear friend Mr. Radiate, zipped off to the mall and made the purchase.

It is certainly true that deprivation increases your enjoyment, cause I am enjoying this so very much. Oh we are lucky, lucky things indeed.

It's little late to do a round-up of the past couple of days. I had lots of blogworthy thoughts, but since I was off work on Friday, and the computer was only functioning at 6pm tonight (that's Sunday) there was no opportunity to post.

Ignoring
What am I ignoring today? The football game, which New England just won. Now I guess the thing to do is wait for tomorrow's news and see if any foolish and unfortunate young things were killed in the celebration--which is what happened after the last baseball victory and after the last football victory this same time last year.

Two Good Things

2005-02-02T10:54:00.000-05:00

Because I am SUCH a big nerd nothing gives me a happy hour like browsing in a yarn shop after work. Last night I stopped at a small yarn shop on my way home to fondle the yarn and plan my next project. It's a very small shop so if any one spoke I could hear--it's not that I evesdrop on people all the time (see yesterday's post).

The owners were chatting with another customer, and they started up with my least favorite conversation ever. "I've finally given up sugar," one woman said to the other two who exclaimed their happy admiration. "Sugar is the reason I get out of bed in the morning," said one of them. Then they continued for a few minutes about the horrors of sugar addiction. Another one said something about having given up coffee several months ago. Then they all talked about how much money the average couple can save if they give up coffee. Then they all talked for several more minutes about the badness of coffee. I thought to myself: but does all that money give the same satisfaction as a delicious cup of coffee each morning?

It seems like well-educated, healthy people (in the US anyway) these days are all convinced that there's a terrible danger in a cup of coffee. Yet, what is that danger? Who do you know that's recently been given six months to live due to coffee drinking? Don't these people ever say to themselves: Well, yeah, I drink too much coffee, but at least I'm not smoking crack or gambling or drinking vodka before lunch? Or better yet: Yeah, I probably drink too much coffee, but I enjoy it! So what's the big deal?

So anyway, after this exchange finished I tuned out cause I was busy looking at the yarn. When I tuned back in the one who'd given up sugar had left and the other two had forgotten their enthusiasm for giving up sugar and were eating some cookies and discussing the merits of the homemade ones vs. the cookies from Starbucks.

Today's Commute: Heavy traffic, but in consolation the sun was shining brightly. I felt very fashionable on the road with my new brakes (yesterday), new battery (last week), and new tires (ouch $$$, last month), what will I wear next week? Listened to Sunburned Hand of the Man's No Magic Man.

Overhearing and Listening

2005-02-01T13:27:00.000-05:00

Overhearing
Our apartment is in on the 2nd floor of a very old (and kinda shabby) house that really used to be a mansion, but is now rambly apartments complete with charming fireplaces and leaks. We also have an occasional squirrel inside the living room wall.
Right next door is a historic church about the same age as the house that very nicely hosts a small shelter for the homeless or semi-homeless. The folks who gather there sit outside in a little driveway and talk. We have our own stairs on the side of the house and as we climb up we can hear their conversations--carried on in voices that betray an undersupply of education and too many cigarettes and probably too much drink. We can sometimes see who is hanging out at the shelter, but recently they put up a tarp as protection against snow and rain, so now we only hear voices.

Occasionally we see things that get thrown over the fence into our yard.

One morning this was a pair of pants hanging in a bush the legs extended as if they'd flown over the fence and were grabbed by the bush. The pants vanished later on that day.
Last week coming home, R. found some one climbing through the huge snow drifts in the yard to retrieve a radio that had been tossed. "You know how those guys are," he said to R.

Over the weekend we came back from shopping to hear the assemblage saying:
"Lady! Hey laaa-dy! Hey laa-dy!" just like Jerry Lewis and sounding very genuine.

I don't think they know we can hear them, on the other hand, this is not a self-important crew, so I don't imagine that they would really mind. The other sound we hear as a backdrop to the conversations is the klink of empty cans, and occasionally a dispute about the cans: "Those root-beer cans are mine!"

I can't quite explain why, but I've come to appreciate the little snatches of overheard conversation and the gathering on the other side of the fence. Maybe I like the predictability of it, or maybe its the humble-ness and the lack of pretense. It's a healthy contrast to my days spent in an office listening to self-important people talk about the very important things we're doing.

Listening
A friend, X, called the other day to unburden herself of her problems with, Z, her romantic partner. She called to ask for my help. Dreaded words. I can't be dragged in as a third party to a dispute that will only be resolved when X and Z split so I was quick to say that all I could offer was a sympathetic ear. Later I was frustrated. It's such a drag listening and knowing that the other party in the conversation can't even hear what you are saying, much less take any sensible advice. Of course, I am not the first person who's offered her good advice. I wondered if I should have even listened. But, you know I calmed down and I figure that there is nothing wrong and there might actually be something right about just listening and taking it in.

Blogworld
I read Zinnia's posts about Siobhan's funeral today on REAL E FUN. Very powerful.

Stumbling into Blog World

2005-01-31T15:56:00.000-05:00

Not much time today due to various work disasters and emergencies. However, I've been busily surfacing on Blog Explosion and elsewhere the past week or so. I am completely fascinated. Blog world is new to me, but I am hooked. There is something so interesting, so compelling, and so desirable about having that little window into someone else's life through his or her own writings and images. I love the fact that I can be tucked away in my little corner of the globe and read the journalings of like-minded souls in Paris, Iceland, the Philippines and other distant or near-by locations whenever the urge takes hold.

That said, I am really sick already of incoherant ramblings on blogs devoted to conserative politics. I'm not terribly interesting in incoherant liberal ramblings either, but I always seem to surf to the ones with conservative axes to grind. And then there are cats writing blogs about their owners. If you get that urge, take a walk, call a friend, or do some deep breathing, but don't start a blog.

In a Hurry, Getting Nowhere

2005-01-28T13:14:00.000-05:00

Today's Commute: I'm heading down Rt. 128 under a bright cold sun in steadily moving traffic and in the center lane. There are quite a few cars around me so as I reach my exit I put on my signal, but I can't move over right away. I slow a little and wait as an 18-wheeler lumbers by me in the right lane. Now I need to move to the right immediately or bypass the exit entirely. With my signal on, I start to move over thinking that the little silver car that was a distance behind the truck and that is now coming up on my right will moderate it's speed to let me in. This is what normally happens, but not today. Instead, the car speeds up. Then I hear a horn blow. Ok. I get it. I am dealing with one of THEM. One of those angry, impatient drivers who can't bear to let another car in front of theirs.

The car passes me and I look over to see a tight hostile face with sunglasses looking at me. I feel a surge of anger, but resist the nearly irresitable urge to give her the finger. Then the car is gone up the ramp; I note with amusement the John Kerry bumper stickers*. I am finally able to change lanes and get onto the exit ramp with a few feet of pavement to spare before it's too late.

I head up the ramp behind her and are now both cars are on Rt. 93 heading south into Boston. Traffic is not bad here, so I see the impatient one signal and hop over two lanes before speeding off out of my sight. I continue on with my revenge fantasies. After about a mile all four lanes slow and we are in the bumper-to-bumper traffic that I know extends for 6-7 miles into the city. The impatient one is ahead. Her manouvering has managed to get her into the traffic jam a full 2 minutes before me and she has 50 yards of pavement that I don't.

*Oh yeah, I was also a John Kerry supporter--sans bumper stickers. You'd think Kerry supporters would be opposed to evil driving behavior.

Favorite Bumper Stickers

What Would Xena Do?

I Wanted to go to Work Today, But the Voices
Told Me to Stay Home and Clean My Guns

Lost and Found

2005-01-27T07:21:00.000-05:00

The Letter
Today I have in my knapsack I letter from someone I last saw maybe 15-16 years ago or more. She actually didn't write to get in touch with me, she's looking for N. who was a big part of my life back then and who was a school friend of her's. She says she last saw him in 1988. That's a long time ago now. Zowee. Of course, I was surprised to get the letter. It seemed to come hurtling out of the past instead of merely flown across the Atlantic from Ireland, which is where she lives now. I was surprised that she had managed to find my current address. I've only been at this address since my husband and I moved in together a year and a half ago. I guess she found me on the web. It's very strange to think that there are all these electronic tentacles out there that point their way back to me. Human beings are self-centered it's true, but at the same time I've always been surprised by things like this, as if suddenly all evidence of me vanishes when I'm not there in person.

I'm not in touch with N., but I think I know someone who is, so I will try to get the message out that she (J.) is looking for him.

And Found
About 7 or 8 years ago now, someone actually borrowed my identity--or at least my name. Luckily for me it was only borrowed for artistic purposes. I found out when a friend of mine who works at the art school I graduated from one day asked me if I knew a grad student named LR. I told her I didn't know any current students--this was years after I'd graduated. Apparently, as part of his MFA thesis show, this student had handed out coloring books with his name and my name on them. (I guess his show was kind of conceptual.) My name is very unique and probably there isn't another person with it in the entire world, so I knew it wasn't a coincedence. I was completely astonished--and worried--and of course, knew I had to contact him.

At first I thought it would be fun to periodically send him postcards and not let him know how I knew and so forth. It would give him a shock and I figured he had no idea the name was attached to a flesh and blood human living just a few miles away. But then I started to get scared that he would continue to use my name and that it wouldn't be funny. Luckily, he too had an unusual name and luckily he was also in the phone book under that name. I left a message on his voice mail. He soon called me back sounding very nervous. I'm sure the phrase "identity theft" had occurred to him. He assured me he only used my name because it sounded like a good artist's name (ha!) and that, in fact, he'd moved on to some other kind of artwork and would no longer use my name ever.

How the borrowing came about was like this: It turned out that he'd lived in the same house near our art school that I'd lived in when I was a student. Somehow, he'd found my name on something(maybe an old piece of mail?) and asked around and was told by another person on the street that I had moved away. Apparently, he then decided that it was safe to use the name. The thing I found so amazing (in addition my amazement at the whole bizarre incident) was that I'd moved out of that house at least 7 or 8 years before he lived there, so somehow that little trace of me had lingered there for years until he came along.

So that was that and it all worked out fine, he never used my name and it was all mine until I got married and changed the last part this past September. It's still unique though.

Yet Again..

2005-01-26T13:26:00.000-05:00

It's snowing again with about 9 inches expected. That's on top of the 3 feet that fell just the other day. It's lovely out there, but the roads are treacherous with snow and ice since there's been no time for plows to remove it. This morning's commute was slow, but by the time I got underway and made it to the highway I worried more about skidding on ice than the traffic. I think a lot of people had cancelled their trips. I listened to The Golden Compass which made it quite enjoyable. I liked very much the symmetry: the main characters are traveling through the frozen North whilst I was traveling through the frozen north suburbs of Boston.
And that wasn't all that happened.

Minor, yet dramatic occurance on Rt. 128
Just before I left the house R.'s boss called to tell him to stay home. Alas, he'd been gone for about 10 minutes and has no cell phone. I thought to myself how great it would be if I some how reached his car on the highway and managed to convey the message, however, it seemed unlikely, he'd been gone for a while and our routes follow the same road only for part of the way. Plus, of course, 128 is a highway with traffic moving at 60mph or faster.

I headed out. The local roads were jammed and slow and it took me about 30 minutes to get to the highway where traffic was moving, but slowly. About 30 minutes later I actually spotted R.'s car in the right lane! He must have hit heavier traffic than I did. His car is impossible to miss: a 1976 Dodge Dart, metallic gold. I pulled up next to him and luckily we were all moving slowly enough that I could blow the horn to get his attention. I managed to get him to roll down his window and I conveyed the message that he could turn around at the next exit. He, of course, was delighted. I continued on my way--so such call for me. However, I will certainly be heading home mid-afternoon.

The Apres-Snow

2005-01-25T13:45:00.000-05:00

Welp, everyone's struggling to get back to normal here with giant, GIANT piles of snow everywhere.

My snow day activities included: a new battery for my car heroically installed yesterday by R., a 2-hour commute today, learning that everyone who dragged themselves into work yesterday would get a comp day for their efforts (and people who couldn't make it would not have to use a vacation day), and marveling once again how lucky I am that I've only experienced the fun side of a storm. In Boston there was a little boy who died and several other people who are critically ill from carbon monoxide poisoning due to snow-blocked exhaust pipes and vents.
I just went out at noon to go to the bank and saw a pile of snow in the parking lot that must have been 14 or 15 feet high. Earlier, driving by the mall I saw that they'd plowed the snow into one area of the parking lot; big pyramids of snow covering 20-30 parking spaces.

Main roads are clear and slushy, side roads still have snow on them, however, the new hazard is that there are such tall piles of snow at corners that it's impossible to see turning cars or pedestrians. More snow expected tomorrow!

Today's Commute: As mentioned above, it was a grueling two hours, but quite lacking in drama, traffic inched along, I passed a minor accident or two, but that was it. I listened to the audio version of The Golden Compass, which definately reduced my pain. At first I wasn't sure that I would like hearing it read, but by now I love it. Philip Pullman (who is the narrator on the CD, BTW) has my undying admiration for creating such an inventive, imaginative kid's story. He really doesn't shy away from life and death matters: the book is filled with horrible, frightening things, but there are wonderful characters and tremendous humor as well.

I'd forgotten all about this one small incident--one of my favorites--which is when run-away Lyra scares off a creepy fellow (reading between the lines, a pervert) by telling him she's waiting to meet her father who is a murderer; since he often comes home covered in blood, she's brought him a bag of clean clothes. When I was a kid I would have wanted to be just like her.

The Accumulation

2005-01-24T14:55:00.000-05:00

Happy Post-Blizzard Monday! To those who live in the Northeastern US, otherwise, Happy regular ole Monday.

My belief that we were supposed to get 10 inches of snow Saturday was mistaken. We had a major storm and...ta da!...what little harbor-side town just north of Boston had the most snowfall of all? Why Salem, of course, which was deluged with 38" inches of the fluffy, powdery stuff. R. and I were all prepared with food, dvds, books, and those nifty fireplace logs you buy at the supermarket made out of paper (or something like that). So, we had a fine time of it. Sunday morning, I came downstairs to make coffee and feed cats and took a look out the window to see the whitest, emptiest landscape I've ever seen. It was coming down so heavily that it even nearby buildings were obscured by the falling snow. Well, by "landscape," I guess I mean urban landscape since R. and I live in the center of town. It was an official blizzard since there were high winds, low visibility and heavy snowfall for over three hours.

We watched 2 episodes of "Lost in Space" season 1. I never thought I would like that show, I only started watching it with R. to humor him, however, season 1, which is the B&W season is great! Now I am a big fan. Its so much like a 50's sci-fit movie. I think B&W makes TV shows and movies so much better. It's so beautiful. I also managed to make a small amount of progress on painting. We ignored the football game.

Sweater Weather

2005-01-21T15:19:00.000-05:00

Sigh of relief..its the end of the week and its freezy-ass cold out there! 5F this morning when I left the house.

Now, its Friday afternoon and I am tucked in my little cubicle working and occasionally taking a break to blog. There are a couple of things I've been ignoring this week. Those are the inauguration of our president and the supposed terrorist threat to the Boston area by four Chinese individuals and two Iraqis with a dirty bomb tucked in their luggage. Fortunately the inauguration is not an event that produces local observances, so simply by switching the TV channel I can make it all go away. About that bomb...I don't have a lot of faith in the good judgement of my dear fellow Americans these days, however, I note with approval that Boston did not panic about this news, which now turns out to perhaps have been a hoax. Who is surprised? Raise your hands. My sympathies to innocent Asian travelers in Boston this week.

We're supposed to get a dumping of snow tomorrow. Ten inches maybe? Perfect weather for watching Written On the Wind by Douglas Sirk on DVD and also for painting and knitting. I've knit the collar of the bright pink doggy sweater. I managed to get my own oil painting started up again last weekend and this week I even did a couple of drawings.

Annika's Book Club: I'm slowly reading the comic American Splendor: Our Movie Year, which is great. I only discovered American Splendor after the movie came out, but now I want to read 'em all. I also needed something light so I started Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I am aware of the failings of that series, but I still enjoy them a lot. However, I must say that Mrs. Weasley is an incredibly annoying character. I hope she drops out of the action soon. My favorite character is Sirius Black.

Adieu til Monday.

Head and Arm Aches

2005-01-20T15:30:00.000-05:00

At least its not heart ache.

Normally on Thursdays I get up with R. at 4:30am and we drive to Cambridge where he does his radio show (6-8am EST 88.1 www.wmbr.org) and where I read the weather report as Tiffany Fontaine, meteologiste. However, today a few more hours of blissful sleep were possible since the transmitter was down and hence no show. Actually, it was a good thing cause my one side of my head is aching and I seem to have pulled a little muscle in my arm.

Yesterday, my very cool and smart friend A. emailed and told me among other things that she is reading my fictional blog, Salem Chronicles, and that she really likes it. I was so gratified! I'd better wander over and report on the doings of the fake Annika. Light bulb! I should interview her for this blog! Maybe if she's not too distracted and busy with all the witchcraft she's learning she'll agree.

Today's Commute: Made it to work in only an hour even though traffic was bad. Clever driving award goes to me once again. I managed to (carefully) manouver myself across 3 lanes of stalled traffic on Rt. 128 in order to take Rt. 1 instead. Listened to Thalia Zedek--Trust Not Those in Whom No Touch of Madness. I like that CD more and more each time I listen.

Midwinter Monotony

2005-01-19T16:17:00.000-05:00

We're having one of those weeks of intense cold that January and February are famous for. At least famous around here. This morning when I got into my car it was 9F. Cold, but apparently it'll be even colder over the next few days. I never came down with the flu as feared a few posts ago, however, I seem to be falling victim to the midwinter/hibernation/eat everything/miss the sun syndrome. Its sooo gray. Its sooo cold. This time last year I went to visit a friend in Los Angeles and developed a longing to move to Southern California--which I know is insanity since life in the Boston area is expensive enough. My other contradictory longing is to move to Iceland, which I visited for the first time this past October whilst R. and I were on our honeymoon.
To console myself I will remind myself of the great thing about living in New England: It is that first few hours of a snow storm when the snow is still piling up and the streets haven't even been cleared and everything is just lovely. Its the best time for a walk ever. The light, the quietness of the falling snow. Its perfect! Plus, as R. pointed out the other day, even though we get plenty of snow in Boston people still freak out and close things, so every now and then we get a snow day. We had a few inches on Monday. It's not snowing now, but a few more inches are expected tonight.

Today's Commute was..
Uneventful, traffic not bad. I listened to Tallahassee by the Mountain Goats. I amused myself by planning a whole blog just about my commute, which takes about an hour each way. Called Highway to Hell, of course, or maybe Road to Ruin. Good idea, but I want to write about other things beside what goes on during that hour. I think it it'll be a regular feature of this blog however.

Tuesday No Newsday

2005-01-18T18:39:00.000-05:00

Golly, people are visiting! It's nice to know I'm not just talking to myself. I can have visitors without even tidying the living room or cleaning the bathroom! Welcome all visitors. This no-computer-at-home situation is really tough. It was a great three-day weekend, but no blogging, no emails, no news, nuthin'. Soon to be remedied, however!

Well, speaking of talking to myself, today was a tad difficult (no need to list the reasons) however, here's a humorous and completely true anecdote that always cheers me up when I remember it. Once, many years ago, when I was 22 or 23, I was walking down the street in New York City. (Just visiting, didn't live there.) Apparently I was talking to myself, although I wasn't aware of it until I heard a voice saying: "Tell it to ME, baby, tell it to ME!" and I looked to my right and walking alongside me was a short, chubby little man with a plaid suit and a comb-over. I think he might have even had a striped shirt to match his plaid suit. Suddenly, I realized that I was walking down the street talking to myself just like a crazy person hearin' voices from the frying pan (as my husband says). He was so funny, I burst out laughing and I wasn't even mortified. And, to provide a happy ending--at least for me at the time--the nice man didn't not even try to hit on me further!

Template Troubles
I don't think I like this template. That' s why I haven't added the names of other blogs I am reading. Too green, don't think I like the asterisk thing...hmmm...hmmm...what to do?

Argh!

2005-01-14T15:14:00.000-05:00

I've been secretly congratulating myself on my robust immune system 'cause I've remained healthy these past few weeks whilst all around me co-workers fall victim to the flu and winter colds. Well, about an about an hour ago I was forced to face up to my frailty. I suddenly realized the slight headache I got this morning was getting worse...and zap...suddenly my throat was scratchy and a general feeling of yuck had developed. Time to go home and take to the couch with a book and a zillion cups of tea.

Secret Vice
A secret vice is something you are ashamed to tell your friends that you like, or even love. Something that flies in the face of all the coolness and good taste you possess. It's not something perverted, however! This blog does not endorse criminal vices! My secret vice, quite recently discovered is: Bridal Magazines. Yes, those rediculous magazines I scorned for so many years. It's the fatness of them, it's the dresses, it's the colorful table settings, it's the photos of the flowers and the cakes. I don't much care for the make-up or diet advice, and I am not crazy about those inserts with perfume samples. But the mags are so much fun to leaf through. I got married last September and bought a few then. After the wedding was over I found myself still picking them up! In fact, they are more fun now that nothing is required of me.

It's pouring here today, as it was yesterday. What with the developing cold it looks like it will be a good weekend to indulge a secret vice or two. If not the wedding mags, then reading some fantasy paperback or the most recent Harry Potter.

Cultural Round-Up

2005-01-13T17:53:00.000-05:00

Yoikes, incredibly busy day at work and no time to post at all--til now, when I should be heading home for much deserved relaxation with R. (husband).

On the Culture Front: Visual Arts
I have all these arty projects going at home and I'm trying to sort them all out...first, there's painting. That's oil painting, but then there's also painting of the bedroom that R. and I started a few weeks before Christmas. Neither effort is going smoothly right now. We decided after much work that the olive green we deliberated over for so long is just not the right color daggone color. Not horrible, but not great either. So now we have to decide if its worth it to repaint or if we should just finish up and be happy with the green. We go back and forth.
Then the paintings. Some time this fall after painting like crazy over the summer and thinking I was really onto something, the inspiration evaporated and I've been stuck ever since.
Argh! I get an idear here and there, but it never amounts to anything. I can't decide what strategy I should take: really make an effort or just put them aside and assume the inspiration will return at some point. Argh! (What if it never returns???)
In the meantime I have about 5 knitting projects that I am working on. Two for me and three for other people. These are fun and going really well. I am almost finished with the first sweater that I've designed myself as opposed to using a pattern. In fact, I even visit knitting blogs, but decided I would be bored with my own knitting blog.

Radio
This is really just a sideline, but every Thursday I read the weather on my husband's radio show in the guise of Tiffany Fontaine, slinky, yet indomitable meteorolgist. Today was that day. I've been up since 4:30am.

Reading
Just finished Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem. It's the one about the Tourette-stricken detective (of sorts) investigating the murder of his wiseguy employer/patron. The main character, Lionel, is so wonderful. What a good read!
Now I can finish a few other books. I started reading Njal's Saga last fall, which is a saga from Iceland written in the 12th century or so, (but, based like most sagas, on real events of the 9th century) and I want to finish it. Its great. I had to put it aside for my (now disbanded) book group and needless to say this wasn't one of our selections. Now that the book group is gone I can get back into it. I am so proud of my nerdiness! I'm also reading a book by Haruki Murakami that I also want to finish. Usually I don't have so many half-finished books, but the fall was a strange time what with the wedding and all.

Conclusion?
There isn't one, but sometimes I wonder if I should consolidate.
Ok. That's it for now. More when I am not so tired!

Sorting Out the Confusion

2005-01-12T10:44:00.001-05:00

A tale of two blogs...Well, first I decided to create a fictional blog set in my wonderful adopted hometown, Salem, MA. So I created a character and she started blogging under the title: Salem Chronicles. There are a few similarities, but she's not me. Then I liked blogging so much I decided that the real me would also have a blog. So I added a blog named, Living In Paradise. Then I disovered that while I could add a second blog, I could only have one profile--which meant that my profile was fictional. Soooo, yesterday I added some details to my profile to distinguish between the real and fictional Annikas. Of course, it would be simpler to just create a whole new account, but I sort of like the contrast between the two. You know, a blog is the story you write about your own life, based on true events to be sure, but still a story.

Today's Excitement: A late-breaking wedding present arrived last night (thank you Dad!) that will allow us to buy a new computer sooner rather than later. Our 4-year old computer died for good right before Christmas and being computer-less except at work has been torturous! It's amazing to think that life at one time seemed perfectly normal without a computer.

Today's Astonishing Sight: During my morning commute I spotted a car weaving in and out of traffic with a sheet of snow completely covering the rear windshield. I tried to manouver into postition to get a glimpse of the driver, but the car got ahead of me and I never saw Mr. or Ms. Dangerous Weirdo.

Slightly Hopeful on January 10

2005-01-10T16:18:00.000-05:00

The Tsunami laying so much of coastal Asia to waste was one of those overwhelming disasters: you can't stop thinking about it, but you can't grasp the hugeness of it either.
I've been pretty depressed over my dear fellow-Americans' indifference to or blind acceptance of the destruction and loss of life on both sides in the Iraq war--and the fact that there seems to be no end in site. However, this past Friday I felt a slightly hopeful twinge (just a twinge mind you) when people at work in just one week donated $11,000 for tsunami relief which was matched by the company one-to-one, making a total of $22,000. Not bad for one week, for a company of aproximately 250 people.
Ok. Rhetorical question: Suppose for the war effort people had to give up watching Desperate Housewives and the Sopranos. Would they give them up? Would there be a huge outcry against the war? What if people had to give up TV altogether for an indeterminate length of time?